May 2011
should i stay or should i go
the things you say sometimes remind me of why i decided to go to school so far away almost four years ago. you fail to see that i have grown up quite a bit since the last time i really lived at home. you speak to me at a fifth grade level in a scolding tone much more than i like or appreciate. all i am trying to do is get a job and get out of your hair a little, but that isn’t enough. never...
sitting waiting wishing
i think things are finally starting to fall into place. if not, they certainly seem as if they are. a new hookah bar opened about twenty or thirty minutes from my house and an old friend just so happened to open it. i saw him a few nights ago telling him how i need a job and loved working at sahra back in the day. he told me to call him and im going in tomorrow to start. the downfall to working at...
rawr
complicated yet simple. i should be able to just do what i want because i know it’s what i want and what’s best for me but i worry too much about hurting the other person’s feelings. if it’s someone that has never done anything to me and that i want to keep as a friend, i’m obviously going to try and save their feelings from being hurt by my realist and somewhat harsh...
dakota.
i have a hard time looking at you sometimes. i’ll catch you in a certain light or with a certain expression and i burst into tears almost immediately. i try to stop them but i cannot help missing him. he was mine. i was his favorite and he was mine. he chose me from the rest. he protected me. he loved me. he is gone. it has been five years and now you are here, replacing him without even...
i waited a year, an entire year for this. i suppose my expectations were too radical, too farfetched. i expected an answer but what i received was a string of words that really only led me to more confusion. there were so many things that you could have done to avoid what happened. i understand why you didn’t too any of the numerous options but i still wish you had. it was hard without you...
im beginning to miss those tallahassee nights, the ones that you lose track of time in due to the clusterfuck of people and alcohol in one small area, the ones you wake up the next morning aching with a pain only a good night can cause, the ones you say you’ll never forget but a few weeks later cannot completely recall except for maybe who was there and what point you don’t remember...
talking aloud
the beginning is already different than expected. i’m already being reminded of my past and the way things used to be. my reactions and my attitude are surprising; they do not match my previous predictions and prior anxieties. the time passes and i try to understand; understand the way i’m acting, the things going on around me, and the way i want things to turn out. there are so many...
